REMINDER from Mano:
You are not alone. Everyone has spiritual guidance. We speak through intuition, inspiration and inner promptings. Barbara calls us her “Council,” a friend calls hers “The Team,” others name theirs “Ancestors”.
REMARKS from Barbara:
My guidance comes in gestalts of awareness which I translate into words.
REMEMBERING Mary Jane:
From my observation, Mary Jane was soaked and steeped in Rudolph Steiner’s teachings. These teachings spoke to her as guidance.
The Past is Gone, The Future Just a Dream, The Only Time to Live and Love is Right Now
Blog #91
August 19, 2020 my Ben Lomond cottage burned to the ground in the Santa Cruz Fire. I am now living in the small apartment Jim and I owned in Capitola, California. I am so grateful to have this sweet small familiar space of refuge. One recent morning as I sat in bed I became aware of a group of the elementals that live in my cottage sitting in my lap. I was so happy to know that they escaped with me.
I share notes from my journal as a form of confession and learning.
This is Saturday, I evacuated my home early Wednesday morning. The fire caught it on Thursday. Things I am learning about myself in this emergency:
I did not think for myself. I let AC think for me.
• When she woke me up saying “we have to evacuate, grab your things, the car is packed, and ready to go. BP is waiting to lead us down the hill,” I did just that. I put on the same clothes I had worn the day before, grabbed my datebook and got in the car.
• The day before I had thought, what papers would I need to take with me if I had to evacuate?
• Monday I thought to ask Andrea for her list of what to take if…..
• I didn’t do it. DID NOT FOLLOW MY GUIDANCE. IT CAME MORE THAN ONCE.
Settled in my apartment, each morning I woke up with a gestalt of guidance from the Council.
The first was not to lament and be hard on myself for leaving everything I owned behind. Each time I thought of my cottage and the way I left, they had me review the core of what I learned. What they would like for me to learn and embody:
Take responsibility for myself
Get all of the facts
Make conscious choice
Another guidance the council gave me for dealing with loss was when I remember an object and realized it was lost in the fire, they told me not to moan and groan about the loss, rather to stop what I am doing, focus with love and appreciation of the item, remember the joy I had when I bought or received it, how much I loved it, then let it go and be about my day.
At this point a familiar song floated through my mind,
The past is gone, the future is just a dream, the only time to live and love is right now, right now. The only time to live and love is right now.
My greatest sorrow and shock is that I
- Didn’t call in the ANGELS,
- Didn’t visualize angels surrounding, protecting my property,
- Didn’t tune in to any of my Council to ask, what can I do?
I DID
- Hold a silent mind for “Angels to have a Stable Place to Land.”
- Protect myself by not following daily reports on fire location, in order to hold my mind quiet and heart open
- Resist the urge to dramatize or tell everyone that my house burned
- Open the directions regularly to align with the Archangels of north, south, east, and west
I was led on a mental review of my life showing me many, many areas of my life where I did not take responsibility for myself. In my marriage to Jim, I would get ideas and he would follow through to bring them into reality. Now that the “Real Barbara Thomas” has been evoked the guidance stands strong and clear:
Take responsibility for myself
Get all of the facts
Make Conscious Choice
One morning the Council told me the cottage was a ‘sacrificial offering’. Now a month later I feel her sacrifice is for me to be true to my high calling to relate with angel and elemental spirits of the land and Mother Earth.
When I went back to the land, it felt so sweet with the welcoming presence of the garden angels. The cottage was a pile of rubble, yet amazingly and sweetly touching, the statue of Mary at my entrance patio was standing and intact. She has had many coats of paint over her original white. First giving her a garment of deep blue and deep rose color, which was an error of what I had asked for. At the beginning of this year I painted her again with soft ‘Mary blue and rose’. Now she is back to her original white garment with her hands and face painted flesh tones.
As I laid on the grass while my son and daughter-in-law looked through the rubble, I felt little hands patting me on the leg, comforting me in the same way I had felt them while I lay on the wet grass crying after coming out of the Cairn on the Irish hill top many years ago. This experience was shared last month in Blog #90.
Thank you Barbara. Love, moe
My heart goes to you, Barbara. From your writings -I have followed for more than 10 years – I have felt the magic of your land, the grace of your gnomes. I am grateful for the technology that continues to give your voice and that of your council. That still exists. May the Phoenix that arises bring blessed renewal. Namaste, Delilah
So sorry for your loss. 🐎
Dearest Barbara, I’m so sorry for your loss! Thank you for sharing this with us! I hope you will be extra kind to yourself, and do something extra special for YOU during this transition and healing time. Sending you love, hugs, and healing!
Oh Barbara, I am so grateful you are okay. I am so sorry that you lost your place in the world. I know what a beautiful soul anchor it was for you and so many others. I am just letting the tears run down my face right now. Please take good care!
I’m so sorry to hear that your beloved cottage is no more. I am glad you are alright, that you have a place to live, and your loving elementals are with you still.
Hi Barbara. I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you are doing ok and I’m thinking of you during this time. Sending hugs, Alyssa
Dearest Barbara, such tender times.. thank you for your heart, your writing. love, marci
Dear Barbara,
I send you love during this difficult time. Looking for the lesson or teaching of any loss can be hard to find and accept. You are a such a wise and beautiful Soul. You are in good hands with your Guides, Angels, Elementals and Divine.
Love you and sending positive energy!
Liz
Auburn CA
This is Liz Spera’s sister Karen. Liz just forwarded your blog to me and my mom Sara. We are all so sorry this happened to your beautiful cottage and sacred land. My mom and I feel so blessed that you were so open to having us join Liz to come meet, visit and circle dance with you. That weekend was such a special and rare girl’s weekend for us. Having tea with you was as special as it gets! When I heard of the fire coming your way I prayed daily that you and your cottage would be saved. Well I got the most important part of that prayer answered as you are safe and sound in another familiar place. The common denominator of your 2 special places is YOU! It truly is the person and how that person views the world that makes a house/cottage/apartment a true HOME! Thank you for coming into our lives that special weekend and may you continue to bring joy and peace to the people around you! You are an inspiration to us all!
Blessings,
Karen Sandri and Sara Tancredy
Martinez, CA
May you be blessed beyond measure. May you be guided into each new now with celebration, gratitude and joy! You are dearly loved and acknowledged as the true inspiration that you are for all of us. We are blessed by knowing you and sharing your story. Love Peggy
Blessings Barbara,
Such loss can deepen our ability to appreciate & love. Yet it is a sever severance. My love and blessings to you.
Dear Barbara, When the fires were burning, I went through and grieved all the beloved lands and locations where I had spent time, for sure including your cottage. I am very grateful you yourself are safe and well. With love, Kyla
Dear Barbara, Thank you for sharing your loss. You are a wise woman and someone I have thought of often as a model as I try to travel down my own “wise woman” path. I have been to multiple gatherings on your land with Mara Freeman. One was when I was pregnant with my now 18 year old daughter. It was a magic day and one of the happiest of my pregnancy. I felt held and loved and learned so much. Another time, again with Mara, I received guidance to see fairies in your redwood grove. Another important and magical day. And there were a few more times. I think about your special place and how you have shared it with so many of us. I don’t think you would remember me but a few years ago, I ran into you at the Dickens Fair. I remember thinking that your face shone with a special light, just as it did in your redwood grove. Again, I am so sorry for your loss but I will be sending strong support and prayers your way. Thinking of you, Sandy